[swoooosh] This video is best enjoyed while wearing headphones. If you don’t have a set of headphones just hold up a laptop to each ear for the stereo effect. [clink] This video is also best enjoyed with a cold can of soda. [cracking a cold one with the boys] [sizzlin’] [slurpin’] And a crispy crunchy snack. [Crunch] Mmmmmmmm… snacks. Latkes. Also known as Potato Pancakes Also known as Starchy Saucers Root Vegetable Frisbees Flat French Fries Crisp Discs And Circles of Health [sweet rustlin’ paper noises] Today we’re going to use subscription potatoes. [some more of that paper ecstasy] Unwrap them from the envelope. [mmmmmm paper crinkle] Then unwrap them from the tinfoil. [sfhhhhhhsffh] Then take off the layer of protective bubble wrap. And gently roll the potatoes against it in order to infuse them with air bursts. [the thing you would always do when you had potatoes and bubble wrap] Now let’s rinse those potatoes. [mmm, tap noises] And scrub them with our shower brush that we normally use for our shoulders, back and ass. [S C R U B] [more tap noises] Now let’s peel the skin off the potato that we cleaned for some reason. [scritching violently] Now take a shallot and remove the outer skin. [crack] Now take a shallot and remove the outer skin. [c r i n k l e] If you find it tricky, grab a pair of scissors and cut it off. [more good crinkling action] Then fold up the portion of that skin and just give it a little snippy-snap. [snip snap amirite] And create yourself a little row of dolls. YEET YAHHHHHH They were conjoined quadruplets but now they’re two happy couples I guess. slice [ok but that sound though] Now let’s go ahead and chop the ever-living [beep] out of those shallots. [proceeds to chop the ever-living **** out of the shallots] [rhythmic chopping] ♫ Shallots ♫ ♫ Imprisoning me ♫ ♫ All that I see ♫ ♫ Absolute layers ♫ [sfhgksfghlasjfgakslhk] scrape scrape scrape And shred that potato into a pulp [proceeds to shred the potato- scritch scritch] ♫ Potatoes ♫ ♫ Hit with a knife ♫ ♫ Cut down the sides ♫ ♫ Gettin’ all shre-hehhhh-ded ♫ [Furious Shredding] Now take the American Apparel t-shirt you bought at the going out-of-business sale, that doesn’t fit you because they didn’t have what you normally get and cut that down to size. [tearing sounds] snip Now fill that with the shredded potato and give that a good squeeze Really squeeze all that water out of there [drain sounds] You’re a good squeezer [addin’ in potatoes and shallots] Now let’s grind in some delicious sodium chloride. Let’s also grind in some pepper pepper pepper [mmmmm grating noises] Now let’s go get our farm-fresh eggs Walk across your glass-topped board [cracks] [snaps] [pops] And reach into your Lego bag until you find your eggs [clinking and clanking] Now walk across your peanut shell covered board [crackle] [snap crackle pop] And don’t forget to let your eggs say goodbye thanks for not dropping the eggs – Goodbye friend. I’ll have you know that I am really going to miss you. – Goodbye friend. I’ll have you know that I am really going to miss you.
– [overlaps] Oooooohhhhh no – Oooooooohhhhhhh god. Ooooohhh noooo :c [unnecessary cracking of egg shell] Remember is completely unnecessary to squeeze the shell in your hands like so Now let’s give that a good wang-jangling [aggressive wang jangling ensues] [click] [close] [click] [fwoosh] [burner turns on] [filing nails] scrape scrape scrape scrape scrape [scoop] Take a couple spoonfuls of the potatoes and just gently spoon them into the oil [another scoop] Close your eyes. imagine what it was like millions of years ago When the whole surface of the Earth was covered in volcanic oil Bide your time while those are frying by tapping your nails onto varieties of surfaces [clack clackitty clack] [cardboard rustling] [keyboard taps] [taps] [peanut shells cracking] [clink] [frying] Once they’re brown on one side, you can flip them. Use another latke for support. Or use the double wang-jangler approach. [fab nails] [Paper tearing] Get some paper towels on the plate [Paper tearing] [riiiiiiiiiiiip] The paper towels will soak up some of that oil Put some of your favorite sauce on the plate. I’m using sour cream [pffbdshjlacbkjsfft] Now it’s time to put the excess latkes away for safekeeping Wrap the latke in parchment paper [parchment crinkling] And then some tissue paper [tissue crinkling] And we’ll just top it of with some fire starter [box scraping] Now let’s tape that shut. [shhhfssSSSSSHh] [begins to sound like an aeroplane] [tape] Make a curly Q out of some blue ribbon [fainter aeroplane sounds] [aeroplane sounds] Now tape that down to the box for decorative purposes And then find a nice, dark, comfortable drawer to store it in [shhhhhhhhfclose] And then walk outside into the darkness of night and just [bye headphone users] SCREEEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM CAUSE HONESTLY, WHO CAN EVEN TALK liKe THAT FOR SO LONGGGGGG RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. ahhh… That feels so much better [ding dong] This video was made with support from HelloFresh, which is a meal kit delivery service that makes cooking easy and fun Especially if you’re indecisive, afraid of cooking, love cooking Or afraid of life. [skadaodeknbhwkejbcc] [birb chirpin’]
There’s new recipes each week which take around [birb chirpin’]
30 minutes to make with great instructions And everything is measured so there’s no food waste [pahpffuhffrfhypah] Also they’ve got veggie boxes and family boxes. But they don’t have funeral boxes though which is a bit of a bummer. To me it’s like good cooking class that gets mailed to you and forces you try making new things And then you just hide the box and serve it to look impressive, which is deceptive, so don’t do that Ever. For thirty bucks off for first week of deliveries, go to hellofresh.com and enter code “ysac30” And thank you for watching. [whispers] goodbye i love whispering