– It’s got the garlic knots, calzone, and pizza all in one. – Beautiful. – And now you can eat, you
know, dig into the pizza, dig into the calzone. – Oh, oh, oh, oh yeah.
– That’s nice. – Oil slick baby. I’m Scott and I eat all kinds of pizza. – I’m Mark and I’m a pizza purist. – So, we’re hitting the
road to taste the craziest concoctions claiming to be pizza. – But, are they “Really, Dough?” – Whoa, whoa, whoa, Scott! Wanna slice for the road? – Oh, heck yeah, you know I do! – I can’t believe I had
to sleep on the couch. – Eh, you were fine. – Pizza on board! – There it is.
– Where? – Right there, right there. Pull over, pull over.
– Where? I don’t see it. – No, no, no, Scott it was right there. – I don’t see it! Hold on. Wait. I don’t think that’s your bag. – Oh my God. I’m sorry. – Just get in the car. Come on. Grab the bag.
– I got it. It’s fine, it’s in good shape. All right, let’s go eat pizza! I know this great place. – You ran my bag over. – I didn’t mean– – First, you lost it. Then you ran it over. – But I didn’t mean to. – Twice. – I got this great spot in mind. It’s gonna make it up to you. I promise. – Scott, take me back to Brooklyn. – OK. Totally. We still have plenty of time. – Not really. I mean I really have to
get back to the restaurant. – I know you’re mad. I take full responsibility
for losing your bag. That was me. That’s my bad. We have plenty of time
to get to one more place. You gotta understand. – Where is this place? – It’s so close. Just trust me on this. You know, I’m a professional
pizza tour guide. – All right, I guess we got some time. We’re gonna get the
pizza, eat it, and leave. – Yeah. I grew up around here. – Oh, this is your hometown? – This is my hometown. – It’s a cool little town. – Thank you. – You said they have
regular pizza here, right? – Hold on. Every time we eat pizza together, I take you for something different. Why would you expect for me to take you on an adventure like this? – Cause I wanted to try regular pizza. – But you haven’t had irregular pizza. – Right, I don’t want irregular pizza. – How bout this? We’ll check out this place. I’ll bring you back to Lucali. Next week, you take me
on a regular pizza tour. I’ll drive. – No, I’m done. This is the last spot. I gotta get back to work, and hopefully I won’t see
you for another month or so. – I mean. I don’t know what you’re– I don’t– All right, ready? – Let me call the restaurant and let them know I’m gonna be late. – Sounds good. Meet me inside. – Hey, what’s up, sir? How you doing?
– Hey. I’m doing great, are you Joe? – Yeah.
– Hey, I’m Scott. – All right. – Very nice to meet you. I’m on a crazy pizza road
trip with my buddy, Mark. – All right. – He’s let me take him out for like tons of pizza the last two days. – OK. – This is my last stop. – All right. – And I heard that you make awesome pizzas but I don’t really know much about ’em. – All right. – I only have time for like a slice. – Two slices each? – No, I’m just gonna have one. He’s gonna have one. – All right. – And we gotta go home to Brooklyn, but. – All right. Sounds like we’re gonna
have to impress him. It’ll be right out. – Sounds good, but
like, what is the pizza? – So the pizza is a Triple
Threat O.G., patent pending. It’s got the garlic
knots, calzone, and pizza. All in one. – OK. – So the calzone is like the crust, then it’s closed up, sealed up with a garlic
knot that looks like this, and to top everything
off, pepperoni pizza. And uh, we’re just gonna
have just two slices for you. That’s it, so–
– That’s fine. I think this is gonna be good. Cause this is like normal
enough for Mark to love. – Yeah.
– And then, awesome– – Excuse me, could you
please take your hands off the counter?
– Oh my God, I am. – Thank you, sir.
– I’m sorry. – All right, grab yourself a Pellegrino, All right, man? – I will. I’m sorry. – Not pizza. This is not pizza. Not pizza. This is not a pizza. Not pizza. Pizza dough should be made
with flour, water, salt, and yeast. Nothing else. A city’s got flavor. You should be able to taste
that when you eat there. Pizza should be eaten with your hands, never a fork and knife. – Do you have rules for calzones? – Um, no. Yo, snap out of it. – I’m fine. I’m fine.
– What are you doing? – I just got us a couple of slices. No big deal. And, you know, if we need to, we’ll just grab a slice
and eat it in the car. That’s not hard. Just a slice. – OK, great. – Cool?
– Yep. – When you go to a slice shop like this, checkered tablecloth. What do you get? – Pizza, calzone, stromboli,
sausage rolls, garlic knots. – Yeah, yeah. The basics, right? – Yeah. – To wrap up our road trip, our return to simplicity. – And then we’re leaving? – Yeah. Pinky promise. – Yeah, get outta here. – Imagine in the year 1990, I gave you an iPhone 9S, you’re gonna say, “Hey.” “This phone is way too complicated.” “I can’t use it.” “I want my snake phone now. “I wanna play my regular game.” And I’m gonna say, “Hey, listen, this is the next big thing.” “This is what you gotta be doing.” But you’re gonna look at me and say, “Hey, I don’t want it.” “This is too complicated.” And that’s kind of what our mega slice is. We’re gonna make the triple
threat O.G., mega slice, patent pending, throw in
a nice splash of flour, use one full thing of dough. That’s what makes it a novel food, multi-pizza component product. Preparing the base into
a nice baking sheet. And the way we build the
base of the calzone is with our house-made three-cheese blend, a nice heaping portion of pepperoni, and then we’re gonna just oregano the guy, a little pecorino romano, heaping portion of this ricotta. It’s a nice, beautiful calzone. We’re just gonna go and
sauce and cheese it, big amount of pepperoni. I kinda like when the pepperoni
sits on top of the cheese. It almost kinda, like, crunches up. So the garlic knots is the
proprietary seal of the calzone, which makes it not explode. You can’t please everyone,
but if I was gonna eat it, I don’t want 10 percent
stuffing and 90 percent air. That’s just not what we do
here at Joe’s Rotisseria. – You can’t please everyone. – All right, let me check
on these triple threats. Whoa. Holy shit. Something proprietary’s
bout to take place. And you just can’t see it. Cheese looking really good. Got a little butter blend goin on here. Do a little pecorino romano, a lot. This is a proprietary blend
of oil, cheeses, and garlic. So you got the pizza,
you got the garlic knots, and you got the calzone. You got the pizza, you
got the garlic knots, and you got the calzone. Triple threat O.G., patent pending. All right, let’s go see
what Mark and Scott think. Patent Pending. All right. Two slices. – There we go. – What do you think of this slice Mark? – One slice. – So this is the triple threat O.G. So we got the calzone,
we got the garlic knots, and we got the pizza. Patent pending. – You ever had a patent pending pizza? – No, never. – You ever have a pizza that combined garlic knots and pizza? – No, never. – You ever had a pizza that combined garlic
knots, pizza, and calzone? – No, never. – I wanted to make that
last slice memorable. So look at this. – You could’ve ordered just one, and we could have cut it in half. – Well, I overheard you talking. Um, you said the place
was, you know, traditional. – When you go to a slice shop like this, checkered tablecloth, what do you get? – Pizza, calzone, stromboli,
sausage rolls, garlic knots. – Yeah, yeah, the basics right? – I heard you wanted a pizza, I heard you wanted the garlic knots, and either stromboli or calzone, so I came out with the triple
threat O.G., patent pending. – How am I supposed to eat this? – I would Brooklyn style the guy. – Fold this? – Pick the guy up. – You don’t have to tell
him what Brooklyn style is. – I know how to do it. These are my three favorite
items to eat in a pizzeria, just like all wrapped up in one. – And that’s why we call
it the triple threat O.G., patent pending. – Patent pending. – You got a patent pending on this? – Yeah. And it’s a proprietary method of a multi-pizza component product. – It’s proprietary. – Proprietary? – Yeah. – Are you gonna help us eat this? – Guys, I gotta go back to work. I gotta make two more slices. – Slices? – Yeah. – Thanks, Joe. – Yeah. – You’re excited, right? – I’m gonna be eating this for a week. – I told you we could take it to go. You want to eat in the car,
or you want to eat it here? – No. What are you, crazy? I’m eating it here.
– Well. – Dude, I wanted to get a picture. – Finally you took me for real pizza. – Yeah, it’s a normal pizza, right? I don’t know how I’m ever
gonna get to the calzone. – Joe! – What are you gonna do? – You got a pizza cutter? – You got it, chief. – What are you doing? – I’m cutting it. – You’re ruining it. – No I’m not. I’m cutting it. – The whole thing is that it was this proprietary combo pizza. This whole thing is the pizza. – No, it’s not. This is pizza. What have I been asking you for? – Regular pizza. – Now I have regular pizza. – Well, let me ask you this. – How bout you just eat and stop talking? – Mark, it’s our last stop. I don’t wanna fight. – I just wanna eat. I finally got a normal pizza. – You need some marinara? Hey, check out my marinara. – What is he talking about? – He’s got marinara. – It’s marinara. – No, marinara. Marinara’s marinara. Marinara’s Marinara. – OK, that’s fine. – Two totally different things. – Do you mind if I dip in your marinara? – Just don’t double dip. – I’m not double dipping. I’m not a double dipper. It’s not my style. – Calzone’s really good. – So, I understand that
you’ve separated the calzone with the garlic knot, and then the pizza is a separate thing. – What did I do? – You’ve separated the
calzone from the pizza. – Exactly. – Yeah, and I understand but when you break them apart, and this is pizza and this is calzone. But when they’re together, the whole thing is a pizza. It has a crust. It has cheese. It has sauce. – This is a pizza. That’s a calzone. – And then what’s this? – A calzone. – So, it’s a calzone even though there’s a garlic knot on it? – I told you. There are no rules for calzones. – But could a calzone have a pizza on it? According to your no rules rule, a calzone can have a pizza on it. – Right, and that makes it a calzone. – This whole thing is a calzone. – Yep. There you go.
– Not a pizza at all? – No, unless you cut it. Then it’s a pizza. – But it is a calzone? – Uh huh. – Amazing. – I’m gonna eat. I’m gonna have some pizza. – So, that’s pizza, that’s calzone. This whole thing’s a calzone. Awesome. I’ll take it. – All right. – I respect it. – This is a proprietary box. – We did a good job. – Yeah, that was fantastic. It’s gonna put me in a coma, but– – I am so glad that you like this. I, like, was starting to worry that you weren’t having a good time. OK, what’d you think? What’d you think about,
like about the whole tour? – You lost my bag. I had to sleep on a couch. And now I’m late for work. And I’m exhausted. – Yeah, but it was more
fun than not fun, right? – You made me eat cinnabuns on a pizza and mustard on a pizza. Thank God you brought me here. I finally had a normal pizza. – You didn’t have a good
time at any of the– – Don’t be so sensitive. Come on, I gotta go. Joe! Thank you! – Yeah, have a good one. All right, Mark? Hey, Scott! Have a good one. All right, bud? – I’m not gonna have a good one. My best friend just walked out the door. He didn’t even really say goodbye. He told me to take him on a pizza tour, and then he says you’re
not taking me far enough. You’re not taking me where I wanna go. You’re not feeding me real pizza. I’m like, are you serious? I put everything from your
dreams onto the pizza. If that’s not friendship, I don’t even understand what
kind of world you live in. I just think that we would just finish each other’s thoughts. And we could just sit in the car, play games without even saying a word. Now I know. All that’s off. All that’s off. – All right man, you
gotta at least drive safe. – Can you go easy on the bumps? My stomach’s bothering me
after eating all that pizza. – I thought you said it wasn’t pizza. – Wake me up when we get to Brooklyn. – Fine. This is my best friend Mark. I’m also his best friend. – You’re the noid. – You said you were gonna be nice to me. – Oh, oh, oh, they invented, you know, they have onions in Germany? – Why are you being so mean? – You’re the noid. – Mark’s my best friend now. – Scott, you’re beat. – Friends are fleeting. Friends are fleeting. Friends are fleeting. – You know what? I’m gonna take you back to
Brooklyn when I’m ready.