One potato, two potato, three potato, four. Cashier: You want a bag for this?
William: I like potatoes. Hardly any of these stayed on the table. They all rolled off. It’s truly hot! We got regular potatoes. I think that’s a sweet potato, maybe a yam. I don’t really know. And these little finger potatoes and then potato chips. This isn’t gonna work at all but
we’re gonna try it. Put the vent in. What are you yelling about? Hey. Off-camera: How’s it going? W: It’s pretty good. We’re trying to laser cut potatoes. If it smells like potatoes, um… Well that’s your problem now. Which is up? There’s this much crap. What is it caught on? There we go. That wasn’t so bad. Should we start with the big potato or a small potato? Yeah. Yes? Geez I’m gonna laser beam it. You gonna – you ready? Alright. Bada-bing! 3, 2, 1, pierce! Did anything happen? Ah, I hear something. What if I test fire? Uh-oh. Was that on? Oh, no. This is bad. What’s going on back hear with this just trash pile? Who does this? This high voltage line is straight up broken! That is really scary! Where was that hanging? And why is it severed? What?! *Gasp* Ohhh… I think I did something bad. Jankey is relative, um… The relative jank was still pretty high, though, so let’s unplug everything. Let’s turn power off to the house. Let’s tell the city to shut the – shut the power plant down. That way there’s no way in hell anything here is turning – oh God! I think it’s fixed! I could be wrong. Probably am wrong. I’m usually wrong. Aw yeah! Business as usual. Hey! That went through. It does not smell good. It looks rotten! No. Nope. Nope! I don’ think we’re cutting through the whole potato. We could cheat by cutting it in half, but that’s why we bought the tiny potatoes! I’m gonna make a flat spot. That’s better. We could make a program to cut slices in Illustrator. Like, just cut a bunch of lines. Should we do that? Okay, let’s do that. Is there an E at the end of potato? 100 power. I don’t know man, 2 speed? 1 speed? Hey! That’s not bad. These are gonna be nasty potato chips. No, no, no. No. No. No! No! NO! Yep, that’s pretty gross looking. Wow. It’s crunchy like raw potato. Doesn’t really taste like anything which makes me think that I’m just tasting raw potato. Is this your drinking cup? Aw, too bad. Now we gotta grease them up. They still feel like wet, like rubbery. I think we just need to like easy-bake oven it by pulling it as far away as we possibly can. To do that, we gotta take the table off. God, why do I keep so much crap on top of this thing? I feel like I could make a sorta impromptu Mr. Potato Head right now. Shove that into him. Shove that into him. There you go! As long as he is laying down Oh – oh, oop. What are we doing? Why are we doing this? Oh no, you are going to make things worse. I guarantee it. Huagh! Good sir, would you like to tun the laser back on? I don’t know if we need – I wanna leave ventilation off. Sometimes when I hang out with Cameraman John, I feel like I’m talking to myself like a crazy person. Hey! That’s kinda working! Do you see it? Curling up? Is that wood? I can’t tell if that’s a piece of wood or – I don’t know man. I think we’re like 80% of the way there. You know what? That’s a potato chip. It’s a little bit, like charred, but other than that, it’s not bad. See that one’s a little bit – those are a little rubbery. Let’s feed them to the neighbors. W: It’s crunchy? Neighbor 1: It’s good! W: Tastes a little burnt?
1: A little burnt. Neighbor 2: Oh, you seasoned it, too? W: Yeah, It’s just for looks. W: It’s like a potato chip?
2: Yeah. No, that’s just like a potato chip. 1: They’re good. Gary, you should try one W: Why are you guys all like half naked? 1: Oh, we were at the beach all day. It was hot, man. It was hot. 2: We were doing weird things. Gary: They’re kinda cool.
W: Nice! Thanks guys. So, I – you can make potato chips with a laser. I’m out! Going to the neighbor’s house. You can come if you want, Cameraman. I’ll just leave this. Bees!