Mad Cook Episode 10 – Eng Sub
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Mad Cook Episode 10 – Eng Sub

Welllll–ccbbll-bbzzt–trr–bbrrt–bssr–ttr-szzt –come to a culinaristic adventure to
the most psychedelic kitchens in the world. Our lecture today – Active Substances. Substances belonging to certain cultures that
alter the state of mind. As we are a substantially retarded nation in more than one way,
mentioning any other substance than Father Alcohol often leads to butthurt, crying and police action. Knowing the risk, the insane chef shall discuss
the subject, or the substinence? Ever feel like intoxication is just filling a natural need,
much like hunger, thirst and sexual appetite? Getting plastered has been a part of
every single culture we’ve visited. Often the substances used to reach the higher level
have been something else than Lord Alcomahol like a psychoactive plant chewed leaves of Khat or a Tandai shake laced with cannabis. And if a people doesn’t know any man-made or natural
substances to get their brains upped dance is often the way to achieve the trance. The need to get fucked up is one of man’s four basic drives. Whether it’s the jungle or the desert,
the formula is the same – always! Khat, Bang, Betel, Psilocybin, Ayahuasca, Coca leaves,
Opium, Mescaline, Cava, Datura, Cannabis – even smokes! When there’s a need to get wasted, talk to gods
or even just speed up the conversation every culture has their own way to
spin up their noggins. Or clear them! Which is it? We don’t know!
We won’t glorify, we won’t judge – we explore.
Think about that for a while. Dear viewers, this is an amazing thing –
we’ve often said it’s a small world, but just now our old friend, a hardcore troveller…
-Hey! It’s “Traaavelleerrr…” haven’t you learned? Already a legend… Coco! …put that camera away, man.
I ain’t givin no interviews. Noo, noo, dude… -Put it away! I wanna hit this jo’. Just a quick interview, for old times’ sake?
-I… wouldn’t have come here if I knew you guys were here… So I say “strong fucking NO!” Thanks a lot, C! Tunna, camera ready, can we start?
-Just focusing… aaaand action, please. So, Coco… -Heyheyheyyy… no names, okay? Tell ‘im not to use mah name, yeah? Sure, whatever you want. If you want we don’t have to do th…
-OKAY OKAY OKAY… yo, I’m Coco! It’s been five years since we met,
where have you been all these years? …not a very, ehh, essential question, cause if I tell ya,
all those places will be, like, ruined, y’know? Your show actually ruined mah favorit’ places, all little
Finnish spikey heads run around and shout “Heeeyy Cocooo, fan that splifff up yeeaaa..!” “EEEYY COCO SELL US SOME WEED!” Well… what can I say..?
-Even Tupang is ruined! C’mon, tell us something as an experienced traveller.
-Naaaahhhh… I won’t talk about no places… Well, what was there… I spent six months on a lake in Bhutan..
Then the monsoon in Mustang, rained like a meter…
Even monsoon babas didn’t swim… I swam. Then I spent a few years in Israeeeeel… Our topic today is Active Substances …naahh, ‘s just a friend’s friend, yeah… what’d you say? We’re talking about Active Nutrition, you probably
have some experiences from your travels? -Nooooo, well… When in Rome, y’know, traditions and shit… Ayahuasca, retreat over two weeks, crazy natives…
Cava in Tonga, opium in Laos, Khat in Mogadishu,
they are what they are, nam sayin’? What about Ibogaine, found in West Africa? Uummm… yeah yeah! Ibhoganin–neniene…
I know it, had some with mayans once… What about India? Weelll, I took this Datura trip with some babas
into the desert or sumthin’… Datura? That’s a scary psychedelic! Yaaah yaaahh… everyone says you fucking flip out… I didn’t flip out… “ONLY FOR EXPERIENCED USEEERS…” Alright, tomato eyes and rest of the brass band!
Let’s go check out some cartoons! “Collect wild hemp from the mountains.
Clean the cannabis from seeds.” “Take out the flowers and leaves of the Sativa.” “Don’t eat them – better high than low!” “Blend them with herbs and sugar,
according to the wanted state of mind and being!” I ain’t doin’ this, don’t want no pigs on my tail nam sayin’?
A strong NO! This is fully legal, we can’t do anything illegal here! -Put the fucking camera down, man!
I ain’t doin’ this! …is that your bong..? Rolling, Tunna? -Focus… and action!
-Yeah? -Action! Welcome to the sacred place! Coco here has promised to
make us some of his world famous Space Cakes! …remember to say that..thing.. -Ah yes! We WILL NOT use drugs in them, this is
perfectly legal Hemp for fibers, such as rope et cetera. Not even a nanogram of dope in this one!
Found in Mad Cook’s spice rack! Next, Coco’s world famous Space Cakes!
-…yeah… alright..! Ingredients, Coco? Umm, first the hemp, two handfuls, chop them… When the hemp has been CHOPPED, we put it in about
like… 180 g of… metl… melted butter… Like so. The idea is that… THC is fat-soluble so it… solues…
into the butter, y’know? The drug? -The drug… -So here it doesn’t matter? No… Coco, you can relax. Look in the camera! Can I start? So, it’s looking good here.
Hemp’s in the butter, what now? You mix, the hemp, into 400 grams of flour, 200 grams of sugar,
two eggs, and 2 dl of milk produ… MILK. So that’s our dough?
-…correct..! Does this look familiar..? You had some seasoning too?
-Peanuts, figs and tates are.. are added to the.. mix. Alright! I’ll start doing this and… and… Hey, you can relax, you’ve done really good, just chill! …is it okay to puff some smashey..? Go ahead! Hey, is that a Chillum?
-Awww, yeah, yes itttt is… A real Chillum? -Chillum, Chillum!
Hardest clay in the world! So you use this to meditate with the babas?
-Oh yes oh yes.. I only smoke from ma Chul..Chol.. CHILLUM. Can I see it? -NO,you’ll drop it. Some UK clown dropped it
once, couldn’t smoke for a week, I only use Chillums… Good tastes… ehehehe… Alright, filming… and action! Dough is done, what now, Coco? Putthe.. put thm… PUT DOUGH IN A PAN.
BAKE FOR… twenty…twenty five minutes at about 200 C… Relax, Coco, no problem, we’ll cut this part out.
This is what happens in TV productions. But you had some TV experience, right?
-Yeah I was in Antinha… the Anthony Bourdain show… Oh, which episode, I’ve seen all of them but
don’t remember seeing you? Nooo.. I was.. Umm… in Tibet. -Sure sure.
-Most spectacular place on Earth… Okay… I don’t remember that one.
-Oh yes, it was me and… Ian Wright. Yeees yeeess… Usually I make this from Malana cream, best cream in THE WORLD.
-Oh yeah, Indian, right? Their ganja is HOLY and LEGAL…
The pigs are runnin’ wild and hot… It’s a fiver… just short of five. We cut this one out, yeah?
-Yeah, of course, chill, no problem. There’s our pan, Space Cakes are ready for the oven!
-We… we should bless the cakes… Alright! -In the oven it goes…
-In the oven it goes! Awesome that you’re with us,
showing us how it’s done. Ze oven is ringing, Space Cakes EJECT –
and inspection by the master. What do you say? …the aroma is clear and scentful…….. Okay! Let’s go to the diner! I’d like tha say hi to ma granny in North Carelia…
and my mom in Kiiminki…. Your TV performance went well, very naturally! I’m always natural….. Alright, let’s dig into the Space Cakes,
that are missing the space-like element this time. Munch, munch, pass, right to left……
-Oh… okay. Coco, thanks for the interview!
Where are you going next? Well… where the wind takes me, and where my nose is pointing..
Don’t you little fuckers follow me, yeah..? …put that camera away, I’ma hit something…. Dear citizens, Coco has left the building.
He’s a good example of how getting “in it” is very humane but on the other hand, also why drugs might…
not be for everyone. All you kiddos, or those who are feeling a bit pregnant,
do yourself a favour and stay away from mindfucks. To all you healthy and responsible adults,
the flipped out head gourmand commands – Learn to know yourself – with or without drugs,
in their vicinity, or if the culture demands, by enjoying them! Kanpai! …is the camera off..? -Yeah.. If you want, I might have somethin’ for ya, let’s go..
let’s go check it out, c’mon……

About Earl Carter

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5 thoughts on “Mad Cook Episode 10 – Eng Sub

  1. If you really wanna learn how to cook with marijuana, check out my channel… You guys would be having way more fun 🙂

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