The Cookie Dough Bandit | Weekly Smoke Sesh
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The Cookie Dough Bandit | Weekly Smoke Sesh

Hey it’s Marvolo and welcome back to my channel
for another weekly smoke session. I’ve got Mr. Mime again, and like usual, I’m going
to start off with a bowl of Green Crack. Ah, that damn down stem again. Anyways last
week I was sick. I’m still getting over that, I thought I had a cold, it turns out I have
an upper respiratory infection. Yeah, that’s right. So I’m taking antibiotics and that
should be gone soon. I finally got that biopsy I’ve been talking about for a few weeks done,
and UUUHGG. It was terrible. It was such a horrible experience. After all of that trouble
that I went through to get that appointment and everything, the sample…they couldn’t
read anything from it. I forget exactly what they said, because they called me like first
thing in the morning with my results, and I like barely remember. All I know is they
said basically they weren’t able to figure anything out from the sample, it wasn’t a
good sample. So now I’m going to see a specialist. I got my medical marijuana card renewed this
week too. It was a big chunk of money out of my pocket, but I still think that it’s
really worth it because of the discounts I get. Cheers. Ahh Bong water on the face. So far this week has been uneventful, other
than those few health things, I’ve been just resting mostly. And yeah, I’ve been reading
a few books. I finished Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I read The White Boy Shuffle,
which was a phenomenal book, and then I just read The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly
Black, and it was a nice, sweet sort of dark fairytale, but more something I wish I had
read in high school, because it would have been better suited for that part of my life.
So I’ve been thinking a lot about high school, and the time I spent getting stoned in high
school. And I know a lot of people used to think it was really cool to like…get high
and go to class, and I was never really into that. I mean I probably did it at least once,
but usually I would wait until after school. I had a free fifth period, so I got out at
like 1:00 usually. And at this time, when I was in high school, uhm, I smoked cigarettes.
And obviously I don’t anymore. I have my vape pen. I had just got a pack of cigarettes.
I wasn’t 18 at the time, so I won’t tell you how I got it. But I had a pack of cigarettes,
and I decided..err and my friend had some weed, and we decided I’d give him some cigarettes
if he smoked me and my friends out. So we all got together and started walking down
to the river. So the town I live in has a really, really great bike path that goes pretty
much through the entire city, and it runs parallel to the river, for the most part.
And this bike path connected to the river was maybe a five minute walk from my school.
So that’s where a lot of people went to go get stoned, because it was far enough off
of campus that you wouldn’t get caught by campus security, and if anyone ran into you
over there, most people were so lax it wouldn’t matter. And I don’t know about you guys, but
one of my favorite things to eat when I’m stoned is cookie dough. I love cookie dough.
I always have, and it’s just such a great munchie food, so I bought one of those nice
tubs of it with the lid, and we walked on down to the river, I started snacking on it,
and we were all sticking our fingers in it, you know. Probably not the most sanitary thing
to do, but whatever, it doesn’t matter. My friend was like…trying to show me tricks
with cigarettes. And there really aren’t that many tricks you can do with a cigarette. And
he just shoves it up his fucking nose and starts *sniff sniff sniff* smoking it that
way. And then blowing the smoke out of his mouth. He’s like “see I can smoke it through
my…he’s like, see, I can smoke it through my nose.” This was the cigarette that I was
smoking in my mouth, and he just hands it back like okay here you go. And I’m like that’s
been in your nose. You can have that cigarette. And then he just goes on smoking it in his
mouth. I mean I know the cookie dough thing wasn’t totally sanitary, but that’s just gross,
right? So we walk past this disgusting sewage plant,
down to the river. now it’s convenient to have a sewage plant there because, I mean,
if you needed to hide the smell of weed, it would cover it up, but god is it disgusting.
Especially on a nice, sunny day, which…I mean, that day was very nice and sunny, it
was towards the beginning of the school year when it was still on the edge between summer
and autumn. So we walked our stinky way all the way down to the river, and looked for
a place where there weren’t already people smoking. So we were just smoking out of some
dinky pipe, me and two of my best friends, and this guy that had a crush on one of them.
Getting stoned down by the water, we just smoked one small bowl out of a pipe, and most
of my friends at this point, we weren’t very good at smoking, so everyone had to light
the bowl for each other because none of us could light it and hit it at the same time,
which continued to be a problem for me. So we decided to walk a little bit further
down the bike path and walk down by the river. It’s a really nice and pleasant walk. So we
finish smoking, we’re walking down the bike path, and I’m smoking a cigarette, and one
of my friends, she doesn’t really smoke, but she keeps asking if she can share cigarettes
with me. And I swear, not even five minutes go by, and she’s asking for another cigarette,
another cigarette. Can we share another cigarette. And I’m like Oh my god, how long do you think
it’s been, and every time, she thought at least like half an hour to an hour had passed
between the cigarettes. I know you can really lose track of time, but she only had maybe
two or three pipe hits. I mean, yeah a lot of people were lightweights back then so…I
guess that’s forgivable. Okay this Green Crack’s bowl…wow. That was
not going to be a coherent sentence no matter where I was going with it. This bowl of Green
Crack is dead. I’m gonna load some LSD now. After walking down by the river for a little
while and smoking probably like 5 cigarettes in the course of ten minutes we pull off and
decide to smoke another bowl down in this, you know, little wooded area down by the river.
I wasn’t hitting it, I was just standing in rotation waiting with my cookie dough out,
I was eating a little bit of my cookie dough again. And just from the side of my head,
I just see this hooking finger come and dig right into my cookie dough. And I just turn
and look and we all turn and stare. And right next to us, sticking their finger into my
cookie dough is someone we don’t know. He looks a bit rugged, unbathed. I mean it doesn’t
even matter if you’re rugged and unbathed, you could be the prettiest person in the fucking
world and smell like cotton candy and you still don’t go around sticking your finger
in people’s cookie dough. Like what even is that?! And I swear I saw a rock. A rock! In
my cookie dough! Like it fell off his fingernail or something, and he’s like mmmm, eating my
cookie dough. “Thanks.” Fucking thanks? Really? The bowl was finished, and well I don’t even
know if it was finished, but we were done fucking smoking at this point. I tell him
“You can have it.” and he’s like “Oh really?! Thank you so much!” So if you really want
to score some cookie dough, and you see some chick with some cookie dough down by the river,
if you just go stick your fucking finger in it, apparently that’s a good way to get free
cookie dough. But we felt pretty ripped off, and creeped out. So we decided to go to 7-11
to go get some other snacks to replace the disgusting germy cookie dough. That was several years ago, and I still can’t
fucking believe someone did that. That’s just one of those things that has happened to me,
of all the things, I mean I’ve had a lot of really ridiculous things happen to me that
I hope to share with you, but of all the things, this…I still don’t get it. What has to be
going through your mind for you to think it’s okay…I would never just walk up to a stranger
and eat their food. And sticking your finger into it, and something like…ehhhg, that’s
just… Alright that’s it for this video. I hope you
enjoyed this smoke sesh. My bowl is dead. And I think I’m going to get to bed. More
unintentional rhyming. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up, and if you have
any suggestions for things to do in my future smoke sessions, let me know down in the comments.
And if you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe, so you can stay updated for the next time
I make a video.

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